A Stranger In A Strange Land

The story starts simple enough....trapped by my own fear in a dysfunctional, loveless, stagnate marriage of some 15 years. I had a home, rentals, all the trappings that defined "success".

I also had a temper driven, stunted, sexless, psychotic spouse....not part of the over-all program. It didn't start out that way but the backslide was swift.....in the back of my head the cadence began softly until it escalated into a roar, "What were you thinking?"...to this day, that remains unanswered.

And while this situation is repeated daily in countless homes across the world, it was never my Nirvana. One must ask, "Why did you stay?" The answer is simple. Fear. I was afraid to lose all the things I had. My things distracted me and I had a lot of things. Besides, divorce requires great change and effort. Not only was I afraid, I was lazy as too. So the groundwork was set, one house, separate lives. The American Dream. Mistake #1

Luckily, as I was assured frequently, that I was stupid and lacked ambition, although bringing in 3 to 4k a week seemed pretty good to me. I don't drink, I didn't go out with "The Guys", my ex-wife and I slept apart...me on the sofa and she content, basking in the ever present glow of QVC. All the signs were there.....Sequined jogging suits, Stevie Nicks and a pre-disposed obsession with fairies. I suppose depression and denial had set in for me and I had simply given up. Who wouldn't?

When I wasn't at work, I'd spend my time in the garage. I set up an office along with my woodworking tools. Had I a bathroom out there, there would have been no reason to go into the house.

In the evenings, I began to stand in my woodshop, in front of the open garage door, looking at the light on the mountains, that lyric from the Goo Goo Dolls song looping in my head...."I know it's out there, I know it's out there. Somehow here is gone." My 4 year old son pulling at my pant leg asking, "What's wrong, Daddy?" I didn't know where to begin.

So, against all better judgement and ignoring any grain of wisdom I may have acquired, it was decided to sell all our real estate holdings and purchase a large Victorian home in the historical part of town. It was a good money making opportunity, as long as I broke my ass restoring it. I thought, we could sell it and go our separate ways. That would of course solve everything.....,Little did I know...alternative plans were already in motion and had been for quite sometime.